Last day of holiday

Tai Chi on deck again, in almost complete isolation. Balance is much easier, in spite of the vibration of the engines and the gusty wind. Excellent lecture from Peter Crimes, who has researched the mutiny on the Bounty, and has discovered that Captain Bligh was a fair and reputable captain and Fletcher Christian the disreputable one. He had found that the cause was drugs and women. From the pics and description of Pitcairn, the wonder is that anyone goes there or still lives there.

The English pub theme in the bar at lunch time involved a long queue, so TSH and Diva went to the usual buffet, where there were fish and chips but they had forgotten to provide chips!! This meant they missed the singalong – the only one they heard was ‘slow boat to China’, which is not the right era for two children of the sixties.

Time to pack for home!!

Harald the Fair Hair

The reception at this port was special, with a jazz band playing on the quayside and a local who wasn’t linked to them providing an impromptu dance display. The shore concierge told TSH and Diva that another local had requested access to the Silver Cloud because he was designing a cruise-ship themed space rocket. On being told that access was not possible because of security, he replied that it was OK as he was Jesus Christ.

This turned out to be one of the best excursions. A slow drive through the town was followed by a visit to a church which was built on the site of a Viking centre. A nearby museum, very new, was built into the rock so that it did not interfere too much with the landscape. Its introductory film related the story of Harald the Fair Hair, who united Norway when Guida said she would not marry him until he was king of a large country. The guides to these attractions, who spoke excellent English, were dressed as Vikings. The guide for the whole excursion, a German woman, was looking forward to that evening’s World Cup final. The final visit was to the Norwegian National monument.

Fact about Norway: There are rules about flag flying outside private houses. The full national flag can only be shown on a day of national importance or when a resident has a birthday, christening or marriage. The smaller triangular pennant can be flown at all times but must be taken down by specified times, which differ with the seasons. Hagesund only has one set of traffic lights and a bus station which was intended to be a railway station for a line that never happened.

Seen on excursion: Llamas, sheep (with bells round their necks), cows, Shetland pony

Dried cod and a tough old bird

Mist meant that the most scenic part of the tour was a little spoiled, although it was obvious that the Atlantic Road would provide excellent views. However, for the visit to the staved church (one of only 28 remaining) at Kvernes, the weather was much improved and the fjord below was visible in all directions. This tour included two under-sea tunnels – one of 3.5km and one of over 5Km, which went to a depth of 250 m. New tunnels and bridges are subject to tolls until they have been paid for, after which they are free.

Animals spotted included cows (no mattresses), horses, sheep (with and without horns) and two kinds of deer.

The excursion bus stopped suddenly in the middle of the road, on a steep narrow bend. This was because an elderly woman had fallen out of her motorised scooter and needed help to climb back in. She was OK and it turned out that she had not been knocked over, or failed to navigate the difficult road. She was there because she was weeding the outside of her garden and had leaned over so far that she had fallen out. This was reminiscent of TSH’s elderly mother, who doesn’t know when to rest and whose doctor says she’s a ‘tough old bird’.

The shore concierge, who is from West Kirby, presented TSH and Diva with a CD of light classical music, as a memento. Browsing the ship’s shop for jewellery has so far been unproductive.

Factoid: Main exports from Norway are gas, oil, fish and stone.

The chef’s special dish was bacalao, which is made with the dried cod which is to be seen on drying frames all over the fjords. TSH was brave enough to try it and said it tasted a bit like fish and chips and vinegar. Diva tried very hard to order a meal without cream or mashed potato but was still treated to a ‘butter sauce’ with added cream. She has spoken to the chef about the cream which is added to everything without mention on the menu but he was not very sympathetic. And mashed potato is baby food – good for Dinosaur but not for grown-ups like Diva.

The sea is still beautifully calm – no cushions have needed to be squashed into the glasses cupboard. In the port at Kristiansund, Midnatsol appeared. This is the Hurtigruten ship on which TSH and Diva made their maiden voyage in 2005.

Notes on Norway

The arrangements for buying wine in Norway would not suit TSH and DIVA. It is sold only in government-run Vinmonoplet shops, which are not only extremely expensive but which have such restrictive opening hours that people have to take a half-day holiday from work to buy a bottle of wine.

Surprisingly, none of the local guides have been Norwegian, and a Pole, Italian and Croatian have been encountered.

For those who doubt the cows and mattress story, here is a link: http://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/1u4bv0/til_by_norwegian_law_every_cow_has_its_own/  

The morning at sea included an interesting lecture on Copenhagen, followed by a cookery competition between the head chef and the maître d’ (it was a draw). This was enlivened by a general power cut, the ship lurching and the engines stopping. The captain came on the intercom to apologise and say that ‘it would be all OK’, which did not help Diva’s anxiety levels much. Fortunately the situation did not last long.

Alta

The sail in and out of Alta is beautiful – classic fjord scenery with mountains, waterfalls and cliffs. On the way in, a Tai Chi session received applause from passing guests. On the way out, Diva saw black shapes emerging from the water, which could have been seals, dolphins or whales. Lunch on deck, including beer and burgers, was very rushed as TSH and Diva had misread the schedule and thought they were going out at 14:30 rather than the actual 12:30. Diva also managed to mislay her camera, missing the chance to photograph during the excursion, although it was found later on.

There were three destinations. The cathedral was modern inside and out – like an updated and smaller version of the RC cathedral in Liverpool. The theme is the Northern lights, whose general shape is represented both inside and out. The rock carvings (on the UNESCO list) were extensive and easy to pick out, if not always to interpret. They appear to represent a hunting community, depicting their homes, boats and prey, including whales, fish and reindeer.  The third visit was to a slate quarry, with a demonstration of splitting cutting and trimming a large slab of stone. The demonstrator said that the day was so hot that he would remember it throughout the long dark winter (about 9 months of the year at this latitude which is still above the Arctic Circle).

Oh, yes, the weather. The temperature was about 29 degrees C and the Norwegian buses did not have air conditioning which could cope. There was a lot of complaining, mostly from the US guests, and one group were given a new bus. TSH and Diva were in the group for which no other bus was available and the journey, although short, was uncomfortable. The rock carvings were on a hill-side with no shade and there was a requirement to walk what seemed like a considerable distance in the heat. The quarry was home to swarms of insects, including wasps, so vigilance was needed at all times. Some guests though the wasps were a threat to life, others that they were bees and the bringers of life. The shower on return to the ship was the most welcome yet, followed by champagne on deck.

Murmansk

The sea has been relatively smooth – much more so than for the exciting transatlantic voyage in Autumn 2013 – despite there being nothing between the Silver Cloud and the North Pole. The morning tour was ‘Highlights of Murmansk and the Oceanarium’. Murmansk does not really have highlights and all the buildings appeared to be in a poor state of repair and there were packs of apparently feral dogs everywhere. Some passengers touched them, which appalled Diva as they probably had fleas and rabies, and others were concerned about their welfare. There were visits to statues, monuments and a church. The Oceanarium was just performing seals but there were grey seals, bearded seals and arctic seals , including one that was almost 27 years old. The bus was in a poor state of repair – the folding table in front of Diva wouldn’t fold away properly and the bottom step was like a springboard, feeling very unsafe.

The afternoon departure was delayed first by one guest having failed to carry out the proper procedures – he had kept his passport instead of leaving it with Russian immigration officials. When that was resolved, the ship’s engineer discovered a faulty engine part, which caused another hour’s delay. But the eventual sail away was interesting, with several out-of-service nuclear powered ice breakers along the waterfront. This meant that Diva, who was inexplicably very hungry, missed afternoon tea. TSH wasn’t hungry or bothered.

The morning in Murmansk felt very cold – vest, fleece and windbreak needed but by the afternoon it felt much more pleasant.

Archangel

Sailing along the north coast of Russia, there was a slightly choppier sea and a temperature drop to 4 degrees C. Tai Chi on deck was not possible in these conditions, but there was a session the next morning, as the visa arrangements were that guests were only allowed to leave the ship on organised tours.

An afternoon tour produced the usual confusion of ‘counting the people on the tour’. The Silversea lecturer counted one number in English and the Russian guide achieved a different number in Russian. Despite many counts, reconciliation never occurred. TSH and Diva were sure that the discrepancy was because there were no clear guidelines about whether lecturers, guides and drivers were included or not.

The terrain in this region is much flatter than so far experienced on this voyage but it was relatively warm (18 degrees C), so much so that the local buses travelled with their front grilles open for ventilation. The tour went to Malye Korely – an outdoor museum of buildings brought from across the region. Women in traditional dress greet visitors with bread and salt and then point out interesting features.  The well-fed Silver Cloud guests turned down the offer of the remainder of the bread to have as a snack on the coach back to the pier. The bell-ringing seems very different from in the UK, where one person rings each bell and it looks like hard work. The bells must be much lighter, because one person rings them all – one rope is attached to each finger!! Liberal application of repellent meant that there were no bites from the many vicious-looking insects.

On return to Silver Cloud, there were compulsory tea and cakes provided by the butler. He may be less obliging from now on because of the damage wreaked by TSH when the table collapsed, knocking the orchid plant over whilst he was removing his contact lens. He held the lens in one hand, whilst trying to save the plant with the other. The lens is OK but the plant – and the carpet – may never be the same again.

Silver Cloud’s visit was featured on local TV and people, including a street saxophonist, came to look at what must be a rare cruise ship visit. The sail-away at 23:00 was attended by what looked like half the town.

North Cape

As TSH and Diva were not invited to the US July 4^th party, they had dinner in La Terrazza with guests from Perth, Australia. This was very lively, as there was great consternation that well travelled people from the UK had never been to Australia, in spite of having visited Singapore and this was taken as a great insult. The evening was further enlivened by the sounds of the US fireworks and the beautiful sight of many snow covered mountains on both sides of the fjord. It does not ever go dark at this latitude.

The North Cape is the most northerly point on the European land mass, an interesting point for debate as it is an island and there are more northerly islands. The scenery around it is different from further south – the mountains are not so high and the peaks are rounded instead of jagged but they are very sheer in places so that there are splendid cliffs. Surprisingly, it was not too cold and during the walk round the harbour, TSH had to shed a layer or two. There was quite a collection of small fishing boats, some of which had racks of drying fish on board.

The excursions – not participated in on this occasion - were reported to be very good, with sightings of 10 sea eagles and many puffins.

Venetian Society night, a formal dinner, produced the information that the most regular guests on board had sailed with Silversea for nearly 500 days – more than twice as many as TSH and Diva. Dinner was at the Hotel Director’s table and other guests included two who lived for many years in Bamford, close to Heywood, which is Diva’s birth place.

There is a two hour time difference between North Cape and Archangel and the adjustment was made by having one hour change overnight and one in the middle of the afternoon – a unique and strange choice.

Ship stories

At dinner, TSH and Diva nearly always get a table for two near the windows, and were a bit surprised to be taken to the middle of the restaurant with no view. But they supposed everybody needed a turn at the windows. There seemed to be a deep conversation happening at the maître d’s desk and soon the maître –not the usual one – approached apologetically to say that he had instruction (from the usual maître ) to reserve a special table at the window for TSH and Diva, that he had not recognised them and that he would like to provide a personal escort to the nicer table. This counts as major recognition and specially good treatment.

On a rainy afternoon in Tromso, it was possible to sit at a table in a deserted room so that TSH could photoshop and Diva could spread out her dissertation papers. This is not a crowded ship (although its almost full) and hardly anybody even walked through the room.

On a more gloomy note, when TSH’s laundry was returned, one or two small items were missing but he’s not sure he wants them back if someone else has had them in the meantime.

The weather was rainy and misty, so the morning walk through Tromso was not prolonged, but took in views of the cathedral, churches, the town hall and the magnificent modern public library. One of the shops appeared to contain a polar bear, tossing its head and growling fiercely, but this may have been a model. Diva saw a stuffed crow sitting on a fence and went very close to it, impressed by the realistic glint in its eyes. She was terrified when the live crow moved.

Arctic Adventures

Fortunately, crossing the Arctic Circle was nothing like last time. Hurtigruten hold a ceremony with Neptune putting ice down people’s tops. TSH and Diva were shocked and did not join in. No party, no ceremony, no Greek Gods this time.

The early morning call was too late for TSH, who got up at 05:30 in a frenzy of expectation to watch the arrival and docking. Diva was not well pleased when the bath plug (one of those with a plunger) did not work and there was no proper bath, in spite of using many gallons of excess water. And then when en-suite breakfast was delivered, the butler had forgotten her bread roll, although this was quickly put right.

TSH’s early venture on deck delivered the useful information that it was quite warm and both changed to lighter clothes. Silver Cloud docked but Voyager had to anchor in the bay and use the tenders.

The Lofoten Islands matched expectations. The scenery is a bit like Greenland with much less snow and no icebergs or whales to be seen. But plenty of rocky jagged peaks. And coral beaches!! It was not known until the sixties or seventies that coral could survive at these latitudes. Lots of oyster catchers and lupins. None of the cows had mattresses. The cod drying frames were empty except for the heads, which were awaiting export to Africa.

Lunch was the second pizza of the holiday and the second with no red wine, which is normally ‘the law’. TSH was so full he did not have pudding but Diva had cherry clafoutis.

First sail away of the voyage where TSH and Diva drank champagne on deck.

Aquavit and Academia

Dinner included a trio of smoked salmons and Diva cautiously drank the Aquavit served with it, surprised that she liked it as normally she doesn’t ‘do’ spirits. Very strong, so little or no wine that night. At the cookery demonstration the next day, the chef claimed that all Aquavit crosses the equator twice to improve the flavour. The demo covered a Thai curry which may get made at back at home and a Norwegian venison dish which would require modification as it contained cream and was undercooked for Diva and TSH’s taste. TSH and Diva stayed up late, well 23:00, to watch Kashena Sampson’s show. They have seen her before and enjoy her mixture of folk and country singing. She is about to release her first album, including some of her own songs.

The lecturer, Dr Peter Crimes, is excellent, both for knowledge and presentation. He is from Chester and was studying at Liverpool University when Diva worked there in the computer lab.

On a day at sea, Tai Chi was harder than usual because of the wind and the ship’s movement. A woman who looked Asian was also doing Tai Chi, but hers was from a different tradition. Later, both put in a long hard shift proof-reading Diva’s Leonard Cohen dissertation.

A couple of things Silver Cloud got wrong: The Captain said the forecast was for ‘moderate to rough’ seas, but fortunately this did not happen.  They don’t know how to make an omelette ‘well done’.

Fjords and burgers

Today did not go to plan. A short excursion was cancelled due to lack of numbers but this had the benefit that there was no 7:30 departure and the start to the day was more leisurely. Plan B was thwarted when, after a few minutes queuing for the tender, the Captain announced that service was temporarily suspended to allow the ship to move. This was to allow space for MSC Orchestra and Celebrity Infinity, which turned up just after Silver Cloud had taken prime position at the head of the fjord. Since ‘all aboard’ was 10:30, it was no longer worth the journey into Geiranger. So the morning was spent on deck, Tai Chi training and observing the magnificent fjord, with its mountains and waterfalls. Lunch was also outdoors – the first Silversea burger of the holiday, accompanied by a rare lunch-time beer for TSH.

The afternoon stop allowed time for a short walk around Hellesylt (pop. < 100). This boasts a factory outlet shop, waterfalls and a Sherlock Holmes pub. Do they know that these are not the right waterfalls? The pub had a dragon motif on its roof trim but the reason for this is unknown. A wild aquilegia was seen on the river bank.

Cows and dragons

Up at 06:00 to prepare for excursion to mountains, waterfalls and fjords around Bergen. Pampering was taken to a whole new level when the butler appeared to ask if help with the luggage was needed. Diva was devastated. Was it the last day? Did she have to leave Silver Cloud? Had she missed the cruise? He meant help with any bag being taken on the day trip. But what is the point of trying to take something you need a butler for?

Trains were seen when leaving Bergen, which pleased TSH. He was less pleased when lunch happened at 11:00. An early lunch is the norm at home but on tours it quite often doesn’t happen until 14:00. So he’d got up early, eaten a huge breakfast and could not really do justice to the excellent buffet lunch, although he did manage 6 kinds of herrings.

A visit to a ‘staved’ church in the afternoon produced the first sight of dragons, which were used to decorate the roof. Apparently the churches were designed using a fusion of Christian and Norse tradition.

A squirrel, which was probably red, ran across the road in front of the bus.

There is a law in Norway which states that all cows have to sleep on mattresses. Farmers were reluctant to invest in this improvement, but apparently it has been shown to have a significant positive effect on milk yields. The guide said that Google would confirm this bizarre fact.  But how do you get a cow to sleep on a mattress? Is there a new profession? Cowmattressfacilitator? (joined together because Norwegian is constructed like German).

Stavanger

This is a very sociable voyage. The maître d’ appeared at breakfast to welcome TSH and Diva and some of the new best friends have issued an invitation to dine with them. The shore concierge, who is from the Wirral, wants to meet them ‘for a pint’.

The afternoon was spent touring Stavanger. No monkey and plywood violin (try Google) but in the old town there was a sculpture featuring a monkey, a saxophone, a parrot and a top hat. A visit to an Iron Age settlement included sitting inside a Long House, hearing about the hard life they had. Specifically, how they made garments, which involved spinning thousands of miles of yarn, weaving and then dyeing. Some colours were more difficult, and hence more in demand, than others. Blue was special but needed a lot of bodily fluids, obtained by throwing a party and providing lots of beer. Purple was the best and richest, which fits with it being Diva’s favourite.

The petroleum museum, a fantastic building partly built of granite and part of which looks like an oil storage tank, needed much more time than was allocated. There were displays of all the elements of the oil industry including scale models of rigs, life rafts, a diving bell and drill bits.

Dinner was arctic chard (TSH) and lobster (Diva). TSH started with one of his favourites – artichoke assiette.

No trains, whales, eagles or dragons yet.

Getting on the ship

Breakfast at the Thon Bristol was extremely good although neither tried the brown Norwegian cheese. Each had tried it many years ago and didn’t like it, retried a few years ago in sophisticated maturity (like the cheese?) and still didn’t like it so didn’t try this time. The sweet herrings and the mustard herrings were both excellent, which cheered TSH up after his struggle to shave in a basin with no plug (the bathroom was otherwise, modern, pleasant and functional).

A morning walk before embarkation around the harbour allowed time to see the new development of stylish apartments and museums which look like they have been built on reclaimed land. There were hooded crows and black headed gulls as well as mallards there.

The 15 minute taxi ride from hotel to port cost over £20!!

The Silver Cloud sailed out of the Oslo fjord in dry but cold misty weather.  TSH and Diva have been greeted by name by crew who have met them before and did not need to provide names or numbers for the safety drill as the person on the door knew them. This is what a second home is like. But the travel alarms have both got flat batteries – not good for control freaks.

Other characters have asked to feature in this blog. TSH has two grown up children. Bird Lady is married to Bat Man and their 6-month old child is Dinosaur. Techie Nerd is planning to marry Cake Lady during 2015. The names might provide clues to some of the regular themes of the blog.