Babe

 

In Rouen, TSH had a cunning plan. They wanted to walk by the river Seine but the temperature was due to rise rapidly. So he suggested that they should walk before breakfast, as they often do at home. This resulted in a pleasant cool walk and a leisurely breakfast. The walk was observed  from the Silver  Spirit by the Hotel Director, who had concerns about them leaving the ship alone on a potentially very hot day and looked relieved when they returned safely.

TSH and Diva love the pizzas on Silver Spirit but in order to keep their cheese consumption to reasonable levels they agreed to visit Spaccanapoli only once on each leg of the cruise. 4 times in all. But a pleasantly warm evening whilst docked in Rouen persuaded them to reconsider. 5 times in all.

The butlers and waiters of Silver Spirit were desperate to see Paris. So those who were able to finish their duties by 21:00 hired a vehicle to take them there, allow them to see the floodlit Eiffel tower and return them to the ship at 3:00 the following morning. And start work at 7:00!!

TSH and Diva are well aware that their walking is far less important than the running of people who are timing themselves, counting their steps or measuring whatever other parameters are available on their phones. But Diva did not expect to be grabbed from behind, pushed to one side and told to ‘step aside, babe’. She confronted the female runner later, but was told that no wrongdoing had occurred.  In 74.9 years, she has never before been addressed as ‘babe’. And she does not like it.

 

 

 

Scheduled Sabotage

 In Zeebrugge, TSH went ashore on an excursion which included a canal ride in Ghent. This was made easy for him because the guide wore bright pink (easy to pick out), the meeting place was the Marriott hotel (prominent location) and everybody was supplied with a card containing an emergency phone number. 

Meanwhile, Diva was sitting in Panorama lounge when a group of armed Belgian Custom officials appeared and carried out a detailed inspection of bar stocks. There was a discussion about discrepancies between the declared stocks and the actual stocks. A total recount was proposed but the matter must have been settled in some way because Silver Spirit was allowed to depart on time. 

Scheduled TV maintenance was carried out, meaning there was no TV for a few hours. During the night. During the England World Cup game against Mexico. Despite this, England won.

Amazing Antwerp

 Silver Spirit is in Antwerp for 2 days. A bus ride round the city one day and a walk into the main square the next. The buildings are magnificent and the mooring near the city centre is ideal. Special mention should be made of the main square, the spectacular new law courts and the port building designed by Zaha Hadid. The bus ride made a stop at the main railway station, where the guide made a few factual errors which TSH was too polite to point out. Security into the port is strict, insisting on all metal objects be placed in trays, as at an airport. TSH set the alarms off several times. Each time finding something in his pockets which should have gone into the trays. 

On 4th July, lunch at La Terrazza was USA themed with burgers, hot dogs and Budweiser, as well as the usual range of buffet food. TSH and Diva are not sure if it was as inauthentic as the British pub lunch, with its flags, average fish and chips and sing-alongs. The Cruise Director, realising that they did not attend, said 'I expect you get this all the time at home'!!!

A waiter made a napkin into a rose and presented it to Diva. Inexplicable but charming. 

Gull's Gulp

 When the Silver Spirit made a call to Dover, UK, TSH and Diva went on an excursion to nearby Deal. It was described as having one photostop and freetime in Deal. Instead, there was a walking tour of Deal, a few minutes of free time and then a long stop at Dover Castle. Which is very impressive but impossible for anyone with mobility problems. Silversea had totally changed the tour without informing anyone who was already booked. TSH and Diva were not the only guests to be furious.

When anything goes wrong on the Silver Spirit, there are well rehearsed recovery procedures. A waiter broke a number of glasses, which spread widely across the floor of busy La Terrazza. He immediately placed a chair over the worst of the debris, obtained a warning sign, moved any guests who may have been affected and alerted a number of other waiters to bring brushes.  The whole scene was impressively cleared in just a few minutes. For greater problems, there are regular general emergency drills for the whole crew.

On the pool deck - now branded 'Riviera' - a gull boarded the ship and made a spectacular dive onto a guest's lunch. Which was, of course, rapidly replaced by a waiter. The bird did not leave the ship for some minutes afterwards, as it had identified a large number of potential food sources.

10 spare wooden coat hangers.

Drama at Helsingborg

  Sailing away from Stockholm, guests were invited to a sunset sail away party at 3:45 pm. '....soft lighting of the amazing sunset...'. At 3:45 pm it is bright daylight in Sweden in June!!

Entering the impressive and showy brunch buffet for the third time on this cruise, TSH and Diva were advised by a ship's officer to 'act like you have not seen it before. Just say 'Wow''.

Approaching Helsingborg (Hamlet's castle), the Captain of the Silver Spirit declared a Code Alpha - the signal for medically trained crew to attend an incident. Later that evening, a helicopter appeared and a medical evacuation took place - the first time TSH and Diva have witnessed such an occurrence. They have no information about what happened or whether the two events were connected but they send best wishes to all involved. 

For you I will make an exception*

In Stockholm, the Silver Spirit was not berthed near the old town, as has been the case in the past, but was berthed a good way out. With limited shuttle buses. So when TSH and Diva went out in good time for the 9:00 shuttle it was already full and they stayed onboard. 

They were in Stockholm for two days and were able to take an organised tour to the ABBA museum. The building, in any case too small for the exhibits, was over-crowded with cruise ship passengers (the irony!!) from the Silver Spirit and a number of others so this was not a great experience.

Diva is very independent in spite of her current mobility problems. She always refuses a helping hand from crew members and bus drivers. She reluctantly accepts help from TSH. But when she was walking along a tricky bit of gangway and the Captain of the Silver Spirit leaped forward to help her she accepted - 'since you are the Captain'.

* Leonard Cohen    Chelsea Hotel

When men were men ....

.... and women wore dirndls. TSH and Diva were initially pleased when the evening show was to be given by a local folk group from Tallinn. In the event, hefty men pranced in macho style whilst women simpered and jostled for their attention. Diva is not prepared to record here what she was muttering about what should be done to the patriarchy.

TSH's walking tour in Tallinn might have ended in disaster if it was not for his presence of mind. During the tour, the guide rushed off without giving clear instructions about where she was going. He lost sight of her and his sound system went silent. So he was alone and adrift at a distance from the Silver Spirit that was too far to walk. He decided that the best plan was to go into a hotel and ask them to call him a taxi. The receptionist and the taxi driver are his new heroes. He thinks that all tour guides should be tall and wear bright colours. He is now grounded for solo visits for his own safety.

It was disappointing in Helsinki that the Silver Spirit was docked at a distance from the city centre, instead of at an inner harbour, as they experienced on a previous visit. So they did not go ashore, as it was not clear that the shuttle bus would go to the area they wanted.

The time again

 In Riga, TSH and Diva both walked along the riverside and into the old square but in Tallinn Diva stayed safely onboard the Silver Spirit whilst TSH went on an organised walking tour of the city. In the evening, TSH had banana foster for dessert whilst Diva - the banana fan - did not. A first. It was Formal Optional and, walking past Reception, they were greeted with 'super elegant as usual'. That will do.

The MacDonald brothers are back on the ship, impressing everybody with their energy. It is amazing how an international audience can sing and clap along with Wild Rover and Whiskey in the Jar. 

It seems that there is a new Silversea style, omitting the customary daily briefings about the location and the sea state. Certainly this captain is not very communicative, although in Gdansk he found time to chat with TSH and Diva and show them the Polish sausage he had bought ashore.  Do they not feed the captain on this ship?

Regular readers will know that Diva has struggled many times with technology and time changes. On this cruise, she has set the phones to automatically adjust to local time. Most of the time it has worked well. Sailing up the east side of the Baltic, the time is 2 hours ahead of UK time. But in the night the course of the Silver Spirit often swings to the west, returning to UK + 1 hour time. And does not revert until docking has been achieved. After the alarm should have gone off.

There are now 11 spare coat hangers.

It was a dark and stormy night

 All the ingredients of a Gothic horror were in place - a severe weather message on the phones, the laundry delivered by a different butler who understood little English and had no explanation for what had happened to the first one, a fault on the security system which had not recorded Diva's return to the ship in Gdansk (security phoned the suite and were assured by TSH that she was in the shower - should they have believed him?) and the TV map showing that the Silver Spirit, heading for the coast of Lithuania, was somewhere in land-locked western Russia. The lightening and thunder were almost simultaneous and the thunderclap was the loudest Diva had ever heard. Fortunately the sea remained calm and the other issues were resolved. Apart from the positioning information, which was probably the result of tampering with GPS systems. Hopefully the Captain has access to more accurate navigation information.

Technical triumphs

 TSH has now been on a number of excursions alone and has always returned safely. There are always clear instructions about whether to take each guest's personal 'Quietbox', which is a system for hearing the guide as the group moves around outdoors. There are always guests who turn up without them and no spares are carried.  On one outing, there were guests at the front of the bus who were talking loudly at the same time as the guide. She told them sternly to either keep quiet or to move to the back of the bus!! 

In Norway, public toilets are usually chargeable, so TSH was proud of finding free ones on two occasions. And they were clean! In Oslo, both TSH and Diva went out for a short walk and were surprised to see local bathers in the fjord, close to the Silver Spirit and other vessels and in spite of the distinctly chilly temperature.

There were two technical problems. TSH's camera persisted into going into 'flash' mode even when lighting conditions were bright. An online consultation with the manual resolved the issue. More seriously, his laptop refused to connect to the Silver Spirit wifi. They tried several options but nothing worked and it was beginning to look like faulty hardware. Diva asked AI what they could do and was impressed when it gave her precise instructions for modifying Device Manager (who knew?) to resolve the issue. Success!

In which TSH deserts his dessert

 TSH and Diva are in a very complicated part of the world, where Denmark, Sweden and Norway meet across a complicated system of waterways. Diva has never got it into her head and this was not helped by her telephone welcoming her to Sweden as Silver Spirit approached Skagen in Denmark.

It is a very long time since TSH and Diva were on the agenda at the daily crew briefing. In La Terrazza in the evening, they were seated next to people who made a series of phone calls on speaker phone. Loudly. All the way through dinner. TSH ordered a dessert but decided he could not bear the noise any more and they left the restaurant. Not before exchanging words with the culprits and informing the Maitre d' of the transgression. The Maitre d' said he would talk to the culprits. All the crew know of the incident, are supportive of TSH and Diva and are taking even greater care of them.

There are currently 11 surplus coat hangers in their suite.

No pictures, please

 So far on this voyage, the waters have been smooth but the weather cold and sometimes rainy. Patches of snow are visible on the hills surrounding the fjords. Another guest was unsure what a fjord is and thought it might refer to one of the many waterfalls.

TSH went on an excursion alone in Vik, experiencing even more snow as the bus went higher into the hinterland. He used a (clean) tissue attached to the seat in front to help him find his place after the photostops. No problem that cannot be solved with the use of tissues!! Diva worked on her U3A AI presentation which is due to be delivered later in the year. 

In the Arts Cafe aboard the Silver Spirit, another guest recorded a video, including pointing his camera directly at TSH and Diva. She pointed out that it was illegal to film people without consent.  Another woman supported her. The cameraman glared at Diva and said she had also caused trouble in the theatre that morning. As she had not been in the theatre that morning, she concluded that he had upset at least 3 women that day.

Some of the coat hangers have been taken away. 

Norway via the North Sea

 The first leg of TSH and Diva's voyage is finished, many guests have left the Silver Spirit and many more have embarked - this leg will be slightly fuller than the previous one. 

They happened to be sitting in the Panorama lounge when the towel folding demonstration started and they were too polite to leave whilst members of the Housekeeping Department constructed 'towel art', including a rabbit, an elephant and a crocodile.  Far too complicated for Diva. 

TSH and Diva make good use of the complementary laundry service, so each afternoon 3 or 4 clean garments, each on a wooden hanger, are delivered to their suite. So the number of coat hangers in their walk-in wardrobe is increasing fast. As usual on a Silversea ship, they leave surplus hangers on the bed to be taken away but on this voyage the butler has decided they might need extra hangers and he returns them to the wardrobe.  So TSH's hanging space is reducing and his clothes are crammed together. They have explained the problem to their butler but with limited success.

One of the waiters now introduces TSH and Diva as his parents.

Another altered itinerary

It is never good news when the captain makes early morning announcements directly into all the suites. The Silver Spirit was anchored at Newhaven for a tender ride to Leith followed by a bus ride to Edinburgh. But the water was too choppy for safe tender operation, so the visit was cancelled and the ship headed directly to Amsterdam. TSH and Diva always intended to stay aboard so they were not personally inconvenienced except for all the people who stayed on what should have been an almost empty ship. But think of the chefs. 400 extra people for lunch!!

Bean bag tossing is now being arranged to keep people amused. The good news is that the MacDonald brothers are still on board and will perform again. Basically, they were unable to disembark as planned and are being taking against their will to the Netherlands. With all their instruments and stage props!!

In the SALT (local dishes) restaurant, TSH ate his most unusual salad ever - Taybank salad. It contained roasted brussels sprouts, beetroot and raspberries. His main course was lamb and skirlie. At breakfast time he had a dish of porridge and picked up what he thought was a jar of honey. It turned out to be strawberry jam, but he poured it on and decided that the combination worked very well. 

TSH and Diva and the bins

 On a cruise ship, infection control is very important.  Public washrooms on Silversea ships have notices telling guests to open doors using tissues and bins are provided by the doors for tissue disposal. Except on the Silver Spirit, where the bins have vanished. 

TSH and Diva mentioned this deficiency on their mid-cruise questionnaire. They received a letter from Guest Services and a visit from the Housekeeper, thanking them for being part of the hygiene team. The bins are now back!

TSH's theory is that the bins were removed during the recent refit of the Silver Spirit and nobody remembered to put them back. But did nobody notice the room full of 'surplus' bins?

Very close to home

 In Belfast, TSH and Diva went on a tour to Hillsborough, the royal residence. After the tour of the house, Diva took the bus to the Visitor Centre,  whilst partially sighted TSH bravely walked alone through the gardens. He made it to the exit in good time for the ride back to the Silver Spirit.

At lunch in La Terrazza, TSH and Diva were shown to a table that looked as if someone was already sitting there and had just gone to the buffet. The waiter insisted that the table was free and they sat down. When the occupant did return, they apologised but she smiled and went to sit somewhere else. When the occupants of that table returned, there was a danger that the whole section of La Terrazza would descend into chaos.

TSH had his first filet mignon of the cruise - totally up to standard.

In Liverpool - about 20 miles from their home, TSH and Diva took a walk along the riverside, retuning to the Silver Spirit just before the rain started in earnest.

Diva's sparkly shoes had their first outing of this holiday and received their first compliment within the first half hour. 

Change all the clocks

In Portland, Diva decided she wanted an easy day, so TSH went alone on an excursion - the first such solo outing since his stroke and partial sightedness. Just a short sight-seeing trip, but he managed the photostops and always got back to the correct bus on time.

The naval Pontus was in port - its job is to check on underwater cables.

On formal night, TSH was one of a very few men in a dinner suit. Several people remarked on how smart he looked.

Silversea is an efficient operation and on previous voyages clocks around the ships have accurately reflected the correct time for the current locality. Not this time. The clocks are showing random times - the irony being that they are now supposedly all connected to, and controlled by, the Bridge. It cannot get much worse when the time zones change later in the cruise.

TSH and Diva have asked for Merlot or Malbec to be supplied in their suite. Their butler has assured them that there is no supply of either wine on the Silver Spirit!! They have now requested Shiraz but are still waiting for it to arrive. Bulgari body lotion has been supplied by the suite attendant and face soap purchased in Falmouth. TSH also bought some pencils to use for Silversea sudoku. 

Dressing Down

The Silver Spirit was extended some years ago – it was cut in half and a new section inserted. TSH wondered if the leak from the ceiling in the entrance to Dolce Vita coincided with the join. Two crew members were working on a repair – the sections of pipe laid out in the corridor looked like a Lego project.

On passing a Silver Spirit management meeting where the participants all greeted him as he passed, TSH decided to interrupt properly to tell them how impressed he was with the cleaning and maintenance of the toilets in the public areas. Makes a change from people praising the butlers and the glamorous waiters!!

The dress code is now over. On an ‘Elegant Casual’ night in Atlantide, Diva saw denim jeans, T shirts, sweat shirts, many many trainers and a fleece. She wondered if people had changed into these outfits or whether they had just come in for refuelling at the end of the day. Hopefully they had washed their hands at least.

One of Diva’s gel nails came off.

3rd

On the sail away from Killybegs, TSH and Diva saw a large group of dolphins around the Silver Spirit. Perhaps not quite as spectacular as seeing orcas.

At the Venetian night on the 4^th and final leg of their cruise, TSH and Diva dropped down the league to 3^rd place. There are about 380 guests on board Silver Spirit, including 204 Venetians, which is a much lower proportion than on most voyages in the past. Dinner was with the Guest Relations Manager and the Reception Manager.

On the way into the cocktail party, Diva reassured Captain Ivo, who greeted her by name and was concerned about her welfare in the light of her failure to take a poncho and an umbrella.

In Galway, they cancelled the planned excursion and walked around the city on their own. The tender journey was a little rough at the end and they were pleased that it was driven by an experienced seaman and it was not an Officer Training Day (as has occasionally happened before).

Mars in the Mist

The weather in Djupivogur was cold and misty and TSH and Diva stayed on the Silver Spirit. The Panorama lounge was only a few degrees warmer than outside and it stayed that way despite several guests (including Diva) and crew reporting the situation. They were told that it was equally cold on the Bridge. If the senior officers cannot keep themselves warm there is not much hope for anyone else.

Concerned about the North Atlantic crossing to Ireland, Diva consulted the Met Office shipping forecast. She has no experience with this information and does not really understand it but 2 large deep red rectangles right in the path of the Silver Spirit did not seem good. She considered informing Captain Ivo, just in case he was not aware of the dangers ahead but TSH advised against this, as he was sure that Captain Ivo would have his own sources. When the Captain spoke to the guests he indicated that the sea would be ‘moderate to rough’, so Diva issued Stugeron and they hoped for the best. The necklace that Diva chose for the evening was likened by one of the crew to one that was found on Titanic – not a good omen on a cruise ship!!  At the time of writing, nothing too bad has been experienced.

Here is a picture of Viking Mars – anchored quite close to Silver Spirit in Djupivogur. This is not a bad photograph, this is exactly how it was.