TSH makes a prediction

 The night before the last full day of the cruise, TSH looked at the weather forecast for the last port.  'The captain will not run tender service in those conditions'. Sure enough, at 8am, the Captain announced that the call to Guernsey was cancelled and the day would be spent at sea moving slowly through the Channel. The Cruise Director hastily invoked Plan B - bean bag tossing, shoe shining and the English pub lunch. TSH and Diva took no part in any of these but instead put a deposit on a cruise for 2028. 2027 is already booked with Saga. 

Babe

 

In Rouen, TSH had a cunning plan. They wanted to walk by the river Seine but the temperature was due to rise rapidly. So he suggested that they should walk before breakfast, as they often do at home. This resulted in a pleasant cool walk and a leisurely breakfast. The walk was observed  from the Silver  Spirit by the Hotel Director, who had concerns about them leaving the ship alone on a potentially very hot day and looked relieved when they returned safely.

TSH and Diva love the pizzas on Silver Spirit but in order to keep their cheese consumption to reasonable levels they agreed to visit Spaccanapoli only once on each leg of the cruise. 4 times in all. But a pleasantly warm evening whilst docked in Rouen persuaded them to reconsider. 5 times in all.

The butlers and waiters of Silver Spirit were desperate to see Paris. So those who were able to finish their duties by 21:00 hired a vehicle to take them there, allow them to see the floodlit Eiffel tower and return them to the ship at 3:00 the following morning. And start work at 7:00!!

TSH and Diva are well aware that their walking is far less important than the running of people who are timing themselves, counting their steps or measuring whatever other parameters are available on their phones. But Diva did not expect to be grabbed from behind, pushed to one side and told to ‘step aside, babe’. She confronted the female runner later, but was told that no wrongdoing had occurred.  In 74.9 years, she has never before been addressed as ‘babe’. And she does not like it.

 

 

 

1 out of 3

 There have been a couple of technical issues. TSH is rightly proud of his photography using his SLR camera and regards photos from the phone as a bit beneath him. But he can do it when he has to. So he was dismayed when he took a few pics around the ship and his phone produced a series of pics of his legs and the bar floor. Diva - the team techie - worked out that he had pressed on the option for delayed take and was taking the pic several seconds after he pressed the button. Sorted!!  And their bathroom has a replacement tap. The original one seized up so that Diva progressed from using 2 hands to not being able to move the temperature at all. Sorted!!

The crew like remembering what guests order so that they can bring the correct drink without being asked. Diva often drinks sweet berries tea in the Arts Cafe in the afternoon and whenever and wherever she meets the waitress who normally serves it she is greeted jokily with 'Sweet Berries Tea, Madam?  

This cruise has covered a large portion of the seas of northern Europe but there have been no sightings of marine life such as whales or dolphins. But the seas have remained calm. 

Diva likes to match the colour of her watch to her outfit each day. She brought 3 watches on holiday for that purpose, but a month after leaving home 2 of the batteries were flat. Fortunately Swatch have a lifetime free battery arrangement and their shop in Rouen was able to do the required replacements. 3 out of 3 working now. 

Scheduled Sabotage

 In Zeebrugge, TSH went ashore on an excursion which included a canal ride in Ghent. This was made easy for him because the guide wore bright pink (easy to pick out), the meeting place was the Marriott hotel (prominent location) and everybody was supplied with a card containing an emergency phone number. 

Meanwhile, Diva was sitting in Panorama lounge when a group of armed Belgian Custom officials appeared and carried out a detailed inspection of bar stocks. There was a discussion about discrepancies between the declared stocks and the actual stocks. A total recount was proposed but the matter must have been settled in some way because Silver Spirit was allowed to depart on time. 

Scheduled TV maintenance was carried out, meaning there was no TV for a few hours. During the night. During the England World Cup game against Mexico. Despite this, England won.

Amazing Antwerp

 Silver Spirit is in Antwerp for 2 days. A bus ride round the city one day and a walk into the main square the next. The buildings are magnificent and the mooring near the city centre is ideal. Special mention should be made of the main square, the spectacular new law courts and the port building designed by Zaha Hadid. The bus ride made a stop at the main railway station, where the guide made a few factual errors which TSH was too polite to point out. Security into the port is strict, insisting on all metal objects be placed in trays, as at an airport. TSH set the alarms off several times. Each time finding something in his pockets which should have gone into the trays. 

On 4th July, lunch at La Terrazza was USA themed with burgers, hot dogs and Budweiser, as well as the usual range of buffet food. TSH and Diva are not sure if it was as inauthentic as the British pub lunch, with its flags, average fish and chips and sing-alongs. The Cruise Director, realising that they did not attend, said 'I expect you get this all the time at home'!!!

A waiter made a napkin into a rose and presented it to Diva. Inexplicable but charming. 

Gull's Gulp

 When the Silver Spirit made a call to Dover, UK, TSH and Diva went on an excursion to nearby Deal. It was described as having one photostop and freetime in Deal. Instead, there was a walking tour of Deal, a few minutes of free time and then a long stop at Dover Castle. Which is very impressive but impossible for anyone with mobility problems. Silversea had totally changed the tour without informing anyone who was already booked. TSH and Diva were not the only guests to be furious.

When anything goes wrong on the Silver Spirit, there are well rehearsed recovery procedures. A waiter broke a number of glasses, which spread widely across the floor of busy La Terrazza. He immediately placed a chair over the worst of the debris, obtained a warning sign, moved any guests who may have been affected and alerted a number of other waiters to bring brushes.  The whole scene was impressively cleared in just a few minutes. For greater problems, there are regular general emergency drills for the whole crew.

On the pool deck - now branded 'Riviera' - a gull boarded the ship and made a spectacular dive onto a guest's lunch. Which was, of course, rapidly replaced by a waiter. The bird did not leave the ship for some minutes afterwards, as it had identified a large number of potential food sources.

10 spare wooden coat hangers.

Overheard from Silversea guests

 Ashore - to bus driver: 'Which is the best side for the view?'

                                        'What are 'attractions'?'

In the restaurant, grumpily, to dining companion: 'This is just like MacDonalds'. TSH and Diva have had their complaints about Silversea over the years but it is NOTHING like MacDonalds.              

In the restaurant when there was a squeaky door: 'Have you any WD40?'  Waiter (who seemed to think this was a drink) 'I will try to get it for you, sir'.

Diva takes instruction

 In Skagen for the second time on this cruise, TSH and Diva once again took the shuttle bus and walked around the pleasant town. TSH was eager to take a picture of the church but when they reached it, most of the building was wrapped in plastic as repairs were undertaken. 

There are coincidences onboard - two sets of unrelated guests from Wisconsin USA and another set of guests who live only about 5 miles from TSH and Diva's home.

When Diva uses the guest laundry, she is accustomed to providing technical advice to people who cannot operate unfamiliar washing machines (any washing machines?). On this occasion, another guest advised her on setting a suitable program and clearing the lint from the tumble dryer. She enquired if he was an engineer but he replied that he was an Australian banker.

Drama at Helsingborg

  Sailing away from Stockholm, guests were invited to a sunset sail away party at 3:45 pm. '....soft lighting of the amazing sunset...'. At 3:45 pm it is bright daylight in Sweden in June!!

Entering the impressive and showy brunch buffet for the third time on this cruise, TSH and Diva were advised by a ship's officer to 'act like you have not seen it before. Just say 'Wow''.

Approaching Helsingborg (Hamlet's castle), the Captain of the Silver Spirit declared a Code Alpha - the signal for medically trained crew to attend an incident. Later that evening, a helicopter appeared and a medical evacuation took place - the first time TSH and Diva have witnessed such an occurrence. They have no information about what happened or whether the two events were connected but they send best wishes to all involved. 

For you I will make an exception*

In Stockholm, the Silver Spirit was not berthed near the old town, as has been the case in the past, but was berthed a good way out. With limited shuttle buses. So when TSH and Diva went out in good time for the 9:00 shuttle it was already full and they stayed onboard. 

They were in Stockholm for two days and were able to take an organised tour to the ABBA museum. The building, in any case too small for the exhibits, was over-crowded with cruise ship passengers (the irony!!) from the Silver Spirit and a number of others so this was not a great experience.

Diva is very independent in spite of her current mobility problems. She always refuses a helping hand from crew members and bus drivers. She reluctantly accepts help from TSH. But when she was walking along a tricky bit of gangway and the Captain of the Silver Spirit leaped forward to help her she accepted - 'since you are the Captain'.

* Leonard Cohen    Chelsea Hotel

When men were men ....

.... and women wore dirndls. TSH and Diva were initially pleased when the evening show was to be given by a local folk group from Tallinn. In the event, hefty men pranced in macho style whilst women simpered and jostled for their attention. Diva is not prepared to record here what she was muttering about what should be done to the patriarchy.

TSH's walking tour in Tallinn might have ended in disaster if it was not for his presence of mind. During the tour, the guide rushed off without giving clear instructions about where she was going. He lost sight of her and his sound system went silent. So he was alone and adrift at a distance from the Silver Spirit that was too far to walk. He decided that the best plan was to go into a hotel and ask them to call him a taxi. The receptionist and the taxi driver are his new heroes. He thinks that all tour guides should be tall and wear bright colours. He is now grounded for solo visits for his own safety.

It was disappointing in Helsinki that the Silver Spirit was docked at a distance from the city centre, instead of at an inner harbour, as they experienced on a previous visit. So they did not go ashore, as it was not clear that the shuttle bus would go to the area they wanted.

The time again

 In Riga, TSH and Diva both walked along the riverside and into the old square but in Tallinn Diva stayed safely onboard the Silver Spirit whilst TSH went on an organised walking tour of the city. In the evening, TSH had banana foster for dessert whilst Diva - the banana fan - did not. A first. It was Formal Optional and, walking past Reception, they were greeted with 'super elegant as usual'. That will do.

The MacDonald brothers are back on the ship, impressing everybody with their energy. It is amazing how an international audience can sing and clap along with Wild Rover and Whiskey in the Jar. 

It seems that there is a new Silversea style, omitting the customary daily briefings about the location and the sea state. Certainly this captain is not very communicative, although in Gdansk he found time to chat with TSH and Diva and show them the Polish sausage he had bought ashore.  Do they not feed the captain on this ship?

Regular readers will know that Diva has struggled many times with technology and time changes. On this cruise, she has set the phones to automatically adjust to local time. Most of the time it has worked well. Sailing up the east side of the Baltic, the time is 2 hours ahead of UK time. But in the night the course of the Silver Spirit often swings to the west, returning to UK + 1 hour time. And does not revert until docking has been achieved. After the alarm should have gone off.

There are now 11 spare coat hangers.

It was a dark and stormy night

 All the ingredients of a Gothic horror were in place - a severe weather message on the phones, the laundry delivered by a different butler who understood little English and had no explanation for what had happened to the first one, a fault on the security system which had not recorded Diva's return to the ship in Gdansk (security phoned the suite and were assured by TSH that she was in the shower - should they have believed him?) and the TV map showing that the Silver Spirit, heading for the coast of Lithuania, was somewhere in land-locked western Russia. The lightening and thunder were almost simultaneous and the thunderclap was the loudest Diva had ever heard. Fortunately the sea remained calm and the other issues were resolved. Apart from the positioning information, which was probably the result of tampering with GPS systems. Hopefully the Captain has access to more accurate navigation information.

is this Denmark?

In Bornholm, an island which is currently Danish but has been Swedish (no wonder that Diva does not understand the geography in this region), TSH went on an excursion which took him to a small fishing port. For the first time on this holiday, the temperature was high and he was pleased to have his Silversea water bottle.

At dinner with the Hotel Director and the Head Housekeeper, Diva remarked to the latter that she could not imagine housekeeping for 1,000 people. Bafflingly - and worryingly - the response was 'Neither can I'.

The sunsets have been dramatic, even though they mostly do not result in darkness. One evening the reflections appeared to turn the sea orange. One night, Diva looked out of the window and saw darkness for the first time for many days. 

It wasn't an official Bloody Mary day but one guest was heard to ask for one at 9:45 am. She was politely directed to the venue where such drinks are available all day. 

Bikes and a baby

 All of the Scandinavian towns are, as usual, full of tall athletic people riding bikes at speed through crowds of pedestrians. TSH and Diva are unscathed so far. There are some very good features - Diva walked past a bench where a young man was sitting and he leapt up and offered her his seat. She thanked him, refused the offer and wondered quite how decrepit she must now appear to be.

On one of TSH's excursions a young man stood up on the bus and announced that they had a baby with them and that anyone who objected should move to a different bus. TSH stayed put but was aware of a level of noise and disruption. There have been a small number of children on this cruise, which is very unusual for Silversea.

One evening the sail away was quite late, so they decided on pizzas for dinner in the open air restaurant. This proved to be a mistake, as the chill wind made them cold despite the overhead heaters and the M&S thermal vests. The pizzas were excellent.

ER, TSH and Paddington Bear

 The catering crew have made great efforts and produced an impressive chocolate buffet one evening, followed by a magnificent brunch the following morning. Some of them probably had little or no sleep. 

The brunch had all the usual breakfast items as well as a seafood selection, an ice sculpture and, of course Bloody Marys. 

TSH ate his usual fruit and then made himself a marmalade sandwich. He is in good company with the late Queen and Paddington Bear. They revisited the brunch at lunch time.

Technical triumphs

 TSH has now been on a number of excursions alone and has always returned safely. There are always clear instructions about whether to take each guest's personal 'Quietbox', which is a system for hearing the guide as the group moves around outdoors. There are always guests who turn up without them and no spares are carried.  On one outing, there were guests at the front of the bus who were talking loudly at the same time as the guide. She told them sternly to either keep quiet or to move to the back of the bus!! 

In Norway, public toilets are usually chargeable, so TSH was proud of finding free ones on two occasions. And they were clean! In Oslo, both TSH and Diva went out for a short walk and were surprised to see local bathers in the fjord, close to the Silver Spirit and other vessels and in spite of the distinctly chilly temperature.

There were two technical problems. TSH's camera persisted into going into 'flash' mode even when lighting conditions were bright. An online consultation with the manual resolved the issue. More seriously, his laptop refused to connect to the Silver Spirit wifi. They tried several options but nothing worked and it was beginning to look like faulty hardware. Diva asked AI what they could do and was impressed when it gave her precise instructions for modifying Device Manager (who knew?) to resolve the issue. Success!

In which TSH deserts his dessert

 TSH and Diva are in a very complicated part of the world, where Denmark, Sweden and Norway meet across a complicated system of waterways. Diva has never got it into her head and this was not helped by her telephone welcoming her to Sweden as Silver Spirit approached Skagen in Denmark.

It is a very long time since TSH and Diva were on the agenda at the daily crew briefing. In La Terrazza in the evening, they were seated next to people who made a series of phone calls on speaker phone. Loudly. All the way through dinner. TSH ordered a dessert but decided he could not bear the noise any more and they left the restaurant. Not before exchanging words with the culprits and informing the Maitre d' of the transgression. The Maitre d' said he would talk to the culprits. All the crew know of the incident, are supportive of TSH and Diva and are taking even greater care of them.

There are currently 11 surplus coat hangers in their suite.

Formal Optional

On this leg of the cruise - Amsterdam to Copenhagen - more people are wearing formal clothes on the 'Formal Optional' nights than on the first leg - Southampton to Amsterdam, where only about 4 men were wearing dinner jackets and bow ties. Including TSH. But it is still a minority and many people are dressing quite casually. If Silversea listen to the majority of their guests, it will not be long before formal wear is banned and denims and fleeces compulsory. Sad.

During the journey so far, there have been many 'white nights' when there has been little or no darkness. There have been 2 Venetian nights, when members of the loyalty club are invited to a cocktail party. The host reads the names of the guests who have sailed with Silversea for the most number of nights. On both occasions, TSH and Diva have been 5th. Their 700 odd nights will never compare with the people who were given 25 roses to celebrate 2,500 days of Silversea travel!

On his excursion in Kristiansand, TSH had his picture taken (with his consent) by another guest who wanted to show it to TSH's doppelganger back home.

TSH and Diva usually take their phones and kindles with them as they move around the bars and lounges. On leaving the Dolce Vita bar, TSH also scooped up the drinks menu, which is in a similar case. They kept it in the suite overnight and returned it surreptitiously the next morning.

No pictures, please

 So far on this voyage, the waters have been smooth but the weather cold and sometimes rainy. Patches of snow are visible on the hills surrounding the fjords. Another guest was unsure what a fjord is and thought it might refer to one of the many waterfalls.

TSH went on an excursion alone in Vik, experiencing even more snow as the bus went higher into the hinterland. He used a (clean) tissue attached to the seat in front to help him find his place after the photostops. No problem that cannot be solved with the use of tissues!! Diva worked on her U3A AI presentation which is due to be delivered later in the year. 

In the Arts Cafe aboard the Silver Spirit, another guest recorded a video, including pointing his camera directly at TSH and Diva. She pointed out that it was illegal to film people without consent.  Another woman supported her. The cameraman glared at Diva and said she had also caused trouble in the theatre that morning. As she had not been in the theatre that morning, she concluded that he had upset at least 3 women that day.

Some of the coat hangers have been taken away.