Late, late, late

Diva is not good with the unexpected, especially when it involves time-keeping. 4 hours late docking in Portsmouth, 3.5 hours late leaving the Spirit of Discovery and 4 hours later than expected arriving home. So when the assistant cruise director decided to 'entertain' the guests waiting in their designated lounge, it did not go well. He told a series of misogynistic jokes and Diva used a loud voice to inform the people around her that this was totally unacceptable and the root of unequal pay and opportunity. She was gratified to find several people nodding and voicing agreement. He would not have dared to make the equivalent racist jokes and although he will not change his behaviour she has sowed the seed of objection in at least a few peoples' minds.

Portsmouth disembarkation was long and tedious and they had to transport their own luggage over quite a distance. Very unlike Dover, where there were many porters with trolleys to assist. 

Not a good last day. TSH was so tired when he got home that he forgot to check whether the wood-chippings he had ordered to be laid in the garden were in place or not. (They were)

TSH would like it recorded that he tried most of the ice cream flavours available - lemon curd, mince pie, rocky road.

Later and later

The third formal night offered the usual good dinner and both TSH and Diva ate beef wellington and crepes suzettes. The previous night in East meets West, TSH gave lessons in beer pouring. The waiter hurled (no other word for it) the beer into the glass so that the foam head filled the space. He then went to fetch a spoon and had to be stopped from removing the foam!! TSH demonstrated the correct method of pouring gently against the side of the glass but was unconvinced that the waiter really understood. 

Lost in translation .... Some guests had a problem with the rubber seal on the balcony door and rang to say there was a draught. 'So there is a problem with the air-conditioning?' 'No, the rubber seal has perished'. 'Your door is broken?' 'No, it is just the seal'. First the air-conditioning engineer arrived and then the joiner, before they rang Reception to contact the door seal expert.

TSH and Diva are beginning to understand why the ship has been moving comparatively slowly and why the Captain has been so cautious in denying access to the upper decks. During the rough passage a few nights ago, a freak wave hit the ship and many guests were thrown to the floor on Deck 12. Broken hip, broken femur ......... Saga clearly do not want to risk a repetition.

The Bay of Biscay - in both directions - has been completely smooth.

The horses have been encouraged to sail as fast as possible but they are not able to reach Portsmouth for the planned docking time of around 7:00. The new plan is for arrival in Portsmouth around 11:00, with TSH and Diva disembarking around mid-day. So Diva's hopes of an afternoon at home with the washing machine are dashed. And the Sainsbury order is rescheduled for Thursday. 

Helping to drive the ship

 With improved (but not entirely smooth) weather conditions, the bridge tour was able to take place. TSH and Diva were instructed not to disturb the officers, not to interrupt the explanations and above all not to touch anything. When it was time for questions, there were several pointed ones about how collisions were avoided and how much damage the ship sustained during the serious incident in the Bay of Biscay about 2 years ago. The incident is still the subject of an inquiry and the officer quite rightly refused to discuss it. The Captain interjected to say that maybe they could ask the Captain who was in charge of the ship at the time - a neat way of making it quite clear that it was not him. 

Data that was provided indicated that the ship's tolerance for swell was around 9m. Also that the ship has 7m below the water and 49m above. The Spirit of Discovery is going into dry dock soon in order to be in top condition for TSH and Diva's next cruise in July.

The officer cleared up something TSH and Diva have always wondered about. When a pilot is onboard, it is in an advisory capacity and the Captain still has responsibility for the ship, the crew and the guests and hence has the final say. 

Because of strong headwinds, the Spirit of Discovery is proceeding slower than is ideal and contingency plans are being made for a late arrival in Portsmouth. TSH and Diva hope that these plans are not needed. They are scheduled to leave at the ship at 8:20 and have booked a late afternoon Sainsbury's delivery. The Captain has instructed the Chief Engineer to make all his horses run as fast as possible.

TSH ate Manchester Tart at dinner. Diva has always lived within a few miles of Manchester and has never heard of it. 

Weather woes

 The first sign of trouble was the phone call from Reception explaining that their Sunday afternoon bridge visit was postponed 'because of expected weather conditions'. Then the Captain announced that there would be 24 hours of choppy seas and he was closing the restaurant and lounge on the higher decks. Then the movements of the ship started, so it was difficult to walk around. Guests with cabins on the higher decks had items broken because of the sudden lurches. After 24 hours, the Captain extended the restrictions because the headwinds had slowed progress through the weather system. TSH and Diva have good sea legs and plenty of stugeron. 

The precautions are probably because of a number of injuries during the choppy seas a few days ago. A former Captain in the Merchant Navy fell and injured his back and there are rumours of a broken hip. 

The restaurant manager is often at the entrance to greet TSH and Diva and sometimes escorts them personally to their table. 

Fish with bananas

In the morning, the Captain once more apologised for the weather being rougher than he had predicted. 'Have a drink on me! - as long as it is from the complementary selection'. 

The Restaurant Manager approached TSH and Diva at breakfast to check that all was well. He pointed out that there would be a Portuguese buffet in the evening at the Grill restaurant. This would be difficult for TSH because of his sight problems, so they were assured that pasteis de nata - a favourite of theirs - would be delivered to their table in the Grand Dining Room. It will be interesting to discover if the waiters in the GDR are aware of this special arrangement. The waiters are taking great care of them. Perhaps they appreciated Diva being very discreet when she was breakfasting with the Restaurant Manager and she had to point out that they had brought her the wrong kind of tea.

Like the Canary Islands,  Madeira is volcanic, with dramatic mountains, but its vegetation is much more luxuriant. On the quayside, there is a prominent museum dedicated to Cristiano Ronaldo (a footballer). On the excursion, the guide explained that fish cooked with bananas was a very popular local dish. TSH and Diva were served with Poncha - a traditional Madeira drink based on rum - at 10:00 in the morning.

It is disappointing that so far on this voyage there have been no sightings of whales or dolphins. But there were many camels on Tenerife - their job was to take tourists up the mountain. TSH and Diva did not ride on a camel.

Bananas and Potatoes

 TSH and Diva watched the sail-away from Tenerife in order to get a good view of the dramatic rocky scenery. The departure was, unusually, assisted by a tug because of the strong winds. The captain announced that the Spirit of Discovery would be taking a short detour into international waters in order to 'feed the fish'. 

In Santa Cruz de La Palma, they took a short tour which gave Diva a white-knuckle ride along the twisty mountain roads with steep unfenced drops at the side. They had good views of a massive volcanic caldera with their viewing position higher than the drifting clouds. The guide was confusing in her descriptions and her indication of which direction guests should look in was given by her raised arm which was invisible from many seats on the bus. She emphasised the drama of the route but she was the only person shrieking at the sharp bends.  She also asked guests to inform the driver if another bus was approaching along the narrow roads. Not sure what he thought of that.

TSH took many photographs to provide him with an occupation of deleting and editing in the afternoon. Another guest was taking photographs with a tablet with the sound instructions played at a high volume. 

Some guests are talking a lot about the rough seas encountered during some nights but this has not been at a level to bother TSH and Diva.

Diva's brightly coloured jacket was admired. The restaurant manager checked that TSH and Diva were happy with their lunch.

The main crops on La Palma are bananas and potatoes.

Diva has a new BFF

 On the mid-cruise questionnaire, Diva gave a poor mark for service in the restaurants. Many people are remarking on this and guessing that crew numbers have been reduced and that there are many new crew onboard. Everyone seems to be working hard but service is often slow and inaccurate. 

Maybe Diva was the only person to make a point of this on the questionnaire. She received a phone call from the Restaurant Manager, who wished to have breakfast with her to discuss the issues. This resulted in a constructive dialogue between him and TSH and Diva. He is committed to improving the service. 

TSH and Diva are now receiving a lot of attention from crew members.